Announcing Baker's Blue Jay Podcast!
(April Fools!)
Listening to this one will be funnier than reading it.
Laura: At this very moment, I’m up the shore a ways at Baker’s Blue Jay Barn which has been catering to our Blue Jay needs since 1987. I’m here with proprietor Jim Baker, who has an exciting announcement.
JIM BAKER (to Laura): Yep. Today’s the day we’re releasing Episode 1 of our brand-new Baker’s Blue Jay Podcast.
Laura: A podcast?
JIM BAKER (to Laura): Yep. I can’t listen to the radio anymore without someone telling me to subscribe to this or that podcast. I didn’t know what the heck they were talking about but my Blue Jays wanted in on the action, so I checked it out. It turns out a podcast is just some people jabbering on and on about something. I figured I could do that, and since Blue Jays are way more interesting than people, I knew we could put together something unique. In these podcasts, I don’t talk ABOUT Blue Jays—these are actual, recorded conversations WITH Blue Jays.
Laura: I listened to samples from your first few episodes and was surprised at the breadth of topics. You cover environmental issues, politics, the arts, sports, fine dining—pretty much the gamut. Let’s listen:
JIM BAKER (Podcast): People have been talking about the 2024 election since even before Joe Biden was inaugurated over two years ago. What’s your take?
(Blue Jays squawking)
JIM BAKER (Podcast): Yeah—the news media really do spend more time yammering about stuff that hasn’t even happened than actual news. What do you think about Biden’s environmental record so far?
(Blue Jays squawking)
JIM BAKER (Podcast): I completely agree. It sucks that no matter what party politicians belong to, they never even try to protect you guys from the biggest menaces known to birds—domestic cats running around loose and dangerous reflective windows.
(Blue Jays squawking)
Laura: I’m riveted by these political discussions—they’re so passionate!
JIM BAKER (to Laura): Well, duh! Blue Jays are passionate about everything.
Laura: Their perspectives on the visual arts are utterly fascinating.
JIM BAKER (to Laura): Yeah. Blue Jays think human eyes are so deficient because we have no clue how things look in the UV spectrum, and they think it’s hilarious that when we do try to depict UV colors, we always make them look fluorescent pink. But then, Blue Jays think we humans are deficient in a lot of ways.
Laura: I didn’t realize they were so fascinated by baseball, and in particular, obsessed with Toronto’s George Springer. What’s that about?
JIM BAKER (to Laura): I asked them that very question on the first episode devoted to sports.
JIM BAKER (Podcast): So what makes you guys such big fans of George Springer?
(Blue Jays squawking)
JIM BAKER (Podcast): Well, of course you’re gonna follow the Blue Jays. But what’s so special about Springer?
(Blue Jays squawking)
JIM BAKER (to Laura): So, see?
Laura: I’m afraid I didn’t quite follow what they were saying.
JIM BAKER (to Laura): Yeah—there’s something of a language barrier between jays and humans, no matter what language we speak. But the guys were going on and on about how impressive it is for star outfielder George Springer, or ANY Blue Jay, to be such an adept flycatcher.
Laura: Have you considered providing closed captioning for those of us who can’t figure out what they’re saying?
JIM BAKER (to Laura): Are you kidding? Haven’t you ever noticed how closed captioning mangles basic English? No way could it handle Blue Jay language. In the same way that their eyes see a wider range of colors than ours do, their beaks articulate a wider range of thoughts. Besides, you just can’t translate a Blue Jay’s colorful figures of speech into a prosaic language like English.
Laura: In one episode there was a fun discussion of the best dining options in the Duluth area. Will you be covering other towns and cities, or will this podcast be mostly local?
JIM BAKER (to Laura): Well, we got the ball rolling on this in February and March, so the jays involved in these first episodes are all from our local winter population. As migrating jays start arriving, there’ll be a lot more mixing it up. We’ll hear about all kinds of interesting eating establishments from other places, and which ones jays should steer clear of. We’ll also get a broader perspective on some other issues. If you can believe it, a few jays who spend the winter in St. Louis have started following another baseball team! The feathers will fly if our local jays confront any Cardinals fans.
Laura: I had a little trouble logging into the jayTunes website. I’m sick of captcha things that make me prove I’m not a robot, and this brought that to a whole new level. THREE quizzes before we can even get to the website?
JIM BAKER (to Laura): Yep—there are way too many trolls out there, so the birds’ IT team decided to make it a little tricky to get into the website the first time. First you see a picture of 16 acorns and have to pick out the one that looks tastiest. Then you get a picture of 16 Blue Jays and have to pick out the one most likely to migrate south that year. And finally, you see a picture of 16 bird feeders and have to pick out the one filled with Baker’s Blue Jay Blend. (That last one was my idea.) Pass the test once and you’ll get into the site and be able to subscribe to the podcast without any problems.
Laura: Thanks, Jim. You can subscribe to Baker’s Blue Jay Podcast on jayTunes. I’m Laura Eri——
JIM BAKER (to Laura): WHOA! Hold up! You forgot to mention my feed store, Baker’s Blue Jay Barn, Up the Shore a Ways. This month only, podcast subscribers will get, absolutely free, a copy of our informational booklet, Beyond the Paleo Diet: Go Jayleo.
Laura: Thanks again, Jim. I’m Laura Erickson, and this April Fools Day program has been “For the Birds.”
My favorite April Fools program of all times was “Where the Boids Are,” about two college women driving up to Grand Marais, Minnesota, for spring break. It features (in order of appearance) my son Tom Erickson as the Narrator, the California Ravens, me as Merritt, Karen Keenan as Tuggle, John Keenan as “J.B.,” and my husband Russ.
The California Ravens (my daughter Katherine Erickson on keyboard and me on vocals) have produced a few songs for my program. “Bohemian Rhapsojay” is one of my favorites.
You can hear that and some of my other favorite silly programs from over the years here.
Thanks for the smile and chuckles!